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Ways to Annoy Your Neighbors in Public Restrooms

- Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

- Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

- Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

- Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

- Drop a marble and say, "Oh no! My glass eye!"

- Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

- Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

- Say, "Now how did that get there?"

- Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

- Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"

- Say, "Interesting... more floaters than sinkers."

- Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?"

- Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me."

- Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettucine alfredo you had for breakfast.

- Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."

- Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"

- Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

- Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross- Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.

- Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

- Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free".

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